4 Misleading Reasons for Breaking Off an Engagement

An engagement may be broken off and a marriage project ended before it even begins for many reasons—some important and necessary, others misleading or illusory. Both parties should think carefully before making such a decision.

In this article, we will explain several reasons for breaking off an engagement:

Breaking Off the Engagement:

This happens frequently in our communities, though not everyone accepts it. It means that one party has changed their mind and no longer wishes to proceed with the marriage. The suitor has the right to reclaim what he paid as mahr and gifts.

We can say that this period—the engagement—is a time for both parties to discover each other, to get to know each other's character, thinking, and opinions. If either sees a trait in the other that they cannot tolerate, they have the right to end the engagement.

This stage requires deep thought and careful study of one's future spouse from all angles, as it is the foundation for a whole life and the basis on which a person builds their future with this partner.

Misleading Reasons for Breaking Off an Engagement:

Sometimes, the reasons given by one party for ending the engagement are not sufficient or important enough to justify breaking it off, such as:

• Breaking off the engagement over outward appearance: Often, both parties are very selective and imagine many things about their future spouse.

But the person may turn out to be different from what was expected. For example, a woman of average beauty, while the man prefers someone more attractive, or the woman may desire certain qualities she does not find in the man during the engagement.

This is a misleading reason, as physical appearance is not the standard—good character and kind treatment are more important, and a person may possess a beautiful spirit.

• Society and its mistaken ideas: There are many customs and beliefs that influence us and lead to breaking off an engagement if one party listens to them, such as: a man should not marry a woman older than him, or a single man should not marry a divorcee or widow.

There is also a common belief that a man must earn more than a woman, or that he should marry someone of the same financial status, along with many other mistaken ideas.

• Raising expectations too high: The woman may think the engagement period will be like a rosy dream full of romance and love, but this is unrealistic and does not happen for everyone.
• Not meeting the emotional needs and desires of the other party, where one fiancé seeks constant attention and words of affection.

This can lead to boredom and coldness, and the relationship may end due to accusations of neglect and indifference.

Important Reasons for Breaking Off an Engagement:

Of course, there are strong and important reasons that, if present, truly warrant breaking off the engagement, as they will cause a rift and separation after marriage if the engagement continues despite their discovery:

Betrayal and Lying:

Most engagements end if one party discovers the other has been unfaithful, which is a strong reason to end the relationship. Someone who betrays at the start does not deserve the partner's trust.

Lying and deception are also intolerable; a partner cannot bear being deceived or lied to, because if one lies, they will lose the other's trust and cause anxiety about whether it will continue throughout their life together.

Religion:

In many communities, especially Arab ones, engagements do not continue if the two parties differ in religion, as this will cause major problems in the future. They may be rejected by their families, so it is better to end the engagement early on.

Another reason for breaking off the engagement: Financial Situation:

The relationship may not continue if there is no financial comfort, as marriage requires significant expenses such as buying a house, a wedding dress, holding a celebration, and many other burdens and responsibilities that some may not be able to handle, leading the other party to sometimes break off the engagement.

In conclusion, we have learned about many reasons for breaking off an engagement—some important, some misleading. Therefore, both parties should think carefully during this period and make the right decision.